At my company chili cook-off yesterday, I won a door prize.  A Fellows™ “Bulldog” shredder.  Last night I hooked it up and terrorized every piece of paper that had ever caused me grief.  “Aha!  YOU!  YOU GAVE ME A PAPER CUT!  Mwahahahaha!  Into the shredder with you!  INTO ZEE SHREDDER!  Mwa-hahahahahahaha!”

Knock on the door.  Instant silence in my room.  “Dad, are you being an evil mad scientist again?” comes a little voice.

“Yes.”

“Oh, okay.  Just making sure.”

My eyes roam around the room for another doomed piece of paper…