The Game Of Romance - A Man's Guide
The scoring system works as follows ...
Simple Duties
- You go out to buy her flowers: +5
- But return with beer: -5
- You check out a suspicious noise at night: 0
- You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing: 0
- You check out a suspicious noise and it's something: +5
- You pummel it with a six iron: +10
- It's her cat: -10
Social Engagements
- You stay by her side the entire party: 0
- You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a drinking
buddy: -2
- Named Tiffany: -4
- Tiffany is a dancer: -6
- Tiffany has implants: -8
Saturday Afternoons
- You visit her parents: +1
- You visit her parents and actually make conversation: +3
- You visit her parents and stare vacantly at the television: -3
- And the television is off: -6
- You spend the afternoon watching college football in your underwear:
-6
- And you didn't even go to college: -10
- And it's not really your underwear: -15
Her Birthday
- You take her out to dinner: 0
- You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar: +1
- Okay, it is a sports bar: -2
- And it's all-you-can-eat night: -3
- It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted
the colors of your favorite team: -10
- You give her a gift: 0
- You give her a gift, and it's a small appliance: -10
- You give her a gift, and it's not a small appliance: +1
- You give her a gift, and it isn't chocolate: +2
- You give her a gift that you'll be paying off for months: +30
- You wait until the last minute and buy her a gift that day: -10
- With her credit card: -30
- And whatever you bought is two sizes too big: -40
Thoughtfulness
- You forget to pick her up at the bus station: -25
- Which is in Newark, New Jersey: -35
- And the pouring rain dissolves her leg cast: -50
A Night Out with Your Pals
- You have a few beers: -9
- For every beer after three, -2 again
- And miss curfew by an hour: -12
- You get home at 3 AM: -20
- You get home at 3 AM smelling of booze and cheap cigars: -30
- And not wearing any pants: -40
- Is that a tattoo? -200
A Night Out, Just The Two of You
- You go see a comic: +2
- He's crude and sexist: -2
- You laugh: -5
- You laugh too much: -10
- She's not laughing: -15
- You laugh harder: -25
Driving
- You lose the directions on a trip: -4
- You lose the directions and end up getting lost: -10
- You end up getting lost in a bad part of town: -15
- You get lost in a bad part of town and meet the locals: -25
- She finds out you lied about having a black belt: -60
Communication
- When she wants to talk, you listen, displaying a concerned expression:
0
- When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes: +5
- You listen for more than 30 minutes, without looking at the television:
+10
- She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep: -10