The Great and Mighty Caffeine
9:25 am - I pray to the Great and Mighty Caffeine to give me the boundless energy that I'll need if I'm to accomplish all this endless crap!
Amen.
12:18 pm - I must give the Zoloft time to work ... must give it time ... more time ... suicide is not the answer ... must keep telling myself this...
Got an offer on my house today. A full $20k less than I owe.
I am in a very dark and nihilistic mood at the moment. My coping mechanisms are crumbling. The end seems near.
9:19 pm - Ah yes, there we see ramblings from when I hit a rock-bottom low. It lasted for hours. I almost got up and wandered away from work, just wandered away. I was hoping a car would hit me or a elevator fall on me or something. I'm better now.
We moved more stuff to the apartment tonight. It was fun. My daughter got the bathroom all set up and I stocked the kitchen. The hard part, though, is deciding what to take over, and when. Most of our possessions are not moving, only the stuff we really really need, or really really really want. My goal is to simplify my life. I have to. My mental health depends on it.
I can't wait until this house is cleaned out, sold, and someone else's baby, and all I'm responsible for is rent. Home ownership not my thing.
10:06 pm - Just got off the phone with Becky. We had a very friendly, very honest and open talk. It's official. We've given each other permission to date other people. She's got someone interested in her and if it's right, if he's right for her, she should date him. Her and I will always be best friends. I want her to be happy. I'll feel weird with her seeing someone else, but, hey, this is life. Life is weird.
I'm going to go to bed early in hopes of NOT having to pray once again to the Great and Mighty Caffeine tomorrow morning.
Amen.
12:18 pm - I must give the Zoloft time to work ... must give it time ... more time ... suicide is not the answer ... must keep telling myself this...
Got an offer on my house today. A full $20k less than I owe.
I am in a very dark and nihilistic mood at the moment. My coping mechanisms are crumbling. The end seems near.
9:19 pm - Ah yes, there we see ramblings from when I hit a rock-bottom low. It lasted for hours. I almost got up and wandered away from work, just wandered away. I was hoping a car would hit me or a elevator fall on me or something. I'm better now.
We moved more stuff to the apartment tonight. It was fun. My daughter got the bathroom all set up and I stocked the kitchen. The hard part, though, is deciding what to take over, and when. Most of our possessions are not moving, only the stuff we really really need, or really really really want. My goal is to simplify my life. I have to. My mental health depends on it.
I can't wait until this house is cleaned out, sold, and someone else's baby, and all I'm responsible for is rent. Home ownership not my thing.
10:06 pm - Just got off the phone with Becky. We had a very friendly, very honest and open talk. It's official. We've given each other permission to date other people. She's got someone interested in her and if it's right, if he's right for her, she should date him. Her and I will always be best friends. I want her to be happy. I'll feel weird with her seeing someone else, but, hey, this is life. Life is weird.
I'm going to go to bed early in hopes of NOT having to pray once again to the Great and Mighty Caffeine tomorrow morning.
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