There is no way I’m going to give a bad review to Monty Python’s Holy Grail Ale, even if it sucks. After all, as the label says, it’s “Tempered over burning witches.”

Besides, what self-respecting website that’s searching for the Holy Beer would pass this up? How could you ignore it? The GR in grail is crossed out, after all. It says “Holy Ail.”

And so, is it?

Is it the Holy Ale?

No. Sadly, the wee bunny with the big, sharp, nasty pointed teeth must have killed the alchemist who had the Holy Ale recipe, so the brewer — Black Sheep Brewery of Yorkshire — pulled this one out of a bottom drawer somewhere.

The novelty of the label alone will sell the beer. Why put any effort into actually making it good?

Like I said, though, I’m not going to give it a bad review, because to tell the truth, it does not suck. It’s not wonderful, and it’s not Holy, but it’s not that bad. It won’t turn you into a newt.

It’s dark, rich, a bit rough, and a bit too bitter for my tastes. A nutty flavor prevails. There are some nice hoppy notes, which is good because that lets you know you’re drinking something that prevents cancer. The malt drives a heavy bass beat underneath. The more you drink the better it tastes.

It’s only got a bit of rat in it. And it goes really well with SPAM.

My friend at the local Beer Heaven told me more people buy this bottle to keep unopened on a bookshelf than they do to actually drink it. I can see that. It looks great next to your Monty Python DVD collection, just to the left of the penguin.

You know, the penguin on top of your telly?

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, and you have no idea what happens to this penguin, then don’t bother buying this beer. Otherwise the knights may say “Nee!” to you, or the French people with the outrageous accents may taunt you a second time.

Wink wink, nudge nudge. Say no more!

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